Twenty-twenty was a stark reminder for all of us that life is all too fragile. And, nothing but uncertain. Undoubtedly, we will all process the events of the year differently, at our own paces. And, as history reveals, the world will eventually recover from these series of cathartic events while also undergoing some economic, retail, and political alterations. But, will we also bear witness to an emotional evolution, empathetically?
Empathy, derived from the Ancient Greek word empatheia, means “physical affection or passion” which originates from pathos meaning “passion” or “suffering”. Simply put, empathy is the ability to feel what another person is going through and to see life from their perspective. It is a distinguished pillar (along with trust, forgiveness, gratitude, respect, and more) of friendships that survive the test of time. It is the catalyst that fuels compassion not only in our relationships with our family, friends, and spouse but also in our larger social networks.
So where does empathy come from? Take, for instance, Scott Galloway’s idea of how watching a movie in a theater impacts our overall experience. Think about it, in comedy films, we (usually?!) all laugh together. It’s not a stretch then to say that when we leave a theatre we all exit, for the most part, at least momentarily happier. Our sense of community, camaraderie, rapport, call it what you may, is largely influenced by our shared experiences and commonalities— including, but not limited to, our alma mater, our patriotism during cricket matches, our love for wine, our admiration for Dan Levy, and so on. That’s why we often befriend those with similar preferences— it simply makes them more relatable.
Sadly, even though research reveals that empathetic people tend to be happier, healthier, and foster longer-lasting connections — it’s a trend, that’s unfortunately, fraying.
And then, Covid-19 came knocking like an uninvited guest.
Will we make empathy our new friend because for once, and hopefully just once in a century, we all went through something, dare I say “unprecedented”, together?
Is it too ambitious to hope that coming out of this pandemic, we will all have an evolved and shared sense of understanding;
uncertainty?
loss?
fear?
cabin fever?
ughhh?
VB and I were in New York City, halfway across the globe from home, in a city that was dealt a new wildcard each fortnight, swiftly moving from nightmarish Covid deaths to Black Lives Matter protests, watching fractured fragments of democracy in front of us. Each. And. Every. Day. For me, every fleeting opportunity to connect with my loved ones was embraced as a safe space to be candid about our vulnerabilities, comfort one another, and be the reassurance that we’re not alone in this — be it with our families, or the school friends VB and I were blessed with and had known for more than half our lives, or my Grinnellian family, my IESE classmates, and so on.
We all rapidly adopted video calling technologies that allowed us to be distanced, yet social. We chalked out time in our calendars to celebrate birthdays, baby showers, weddings, book clubs, home workouts, and happy hours. We deployed the same technology to console near and dear ones who lost a job or were caring for a patient or to give strength to those suffering from loneliness in isolation or from the death of a loved one. After all, don’t we all actually get by with a little help from our friends and family?
Yes, we went beyond the mere facade of Instagram posts, Facebook statuses, and LinkedIn articles and bonded across age groups and time zones. Why? Because we all hung on to a common hope of getting out stronger on the other side. As luck would have it, our empathy quotient is not static but rather dynamic and can be altered over time. Incredible, isn’t it? Like playing the guitar, the more you practice, the better you get at it!
Personally, I saw new friendships brew and old friendships thrive especially because life threw all of us the same curveballs and for that I am grateful. Here in New York, what started as acquaintances with friends of a friend or periodic hi-hellos with a friendly neighbor soon turned into a squad that VB and I grew closer to over the months. A squad that met to celebrate Diwali, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and so on. We drank, ate, cooked, laughed, and often missed home together till the wee hours in the morning. What drove the bond, was a mutual reciprocatory sense of what it’s like to be away from home. So, while we increasingly try to safeguard and protect our most prized asset s— our existing bonds with those near and afar — it’s also upon us to turn this empathy and our affable self to those around us. You’ll be surprised at how many new friendships you’ll be on the brink of!!
After all, as social beings, we crave connections that make us feel heard, understood, loved, and cared for.
Friendship is at the root of those connections.
And, empathy is at its core!
As we kickstart the first month of this decade, I am sure the vaccines will be doled out and the economy will slowly but surely bounce back. There will be several “Big Ideas that will shape 2021”. A few memorable (albeit not necessarily pleasant) ones include; heatwaves will be named, the blueprint of large cities will be altered turning them into smaller community centers, retail shops will get converted into residential housing and 3–2–2 (office for 3 days, remote for 2 and off for 2) will be the new 9 to 5 and perhaps Brexit will eventually happen, amongst a plethora of trends. Yet, I’ll also continue to wait for our worldview to be altered with an added dose of empathy — the glue that binds us together.
We may not know each other on a personal or professional level, but we perhaps carry some of the same pandemic baggage on our shoulders. Yeah, it may have injured us in more ways than I can count on one hand, but it has left us with a remedy that can heal the world. We’ve arrived at the outset of humanity, it’s up to us to nurture these relations forward with empathy.
The colors of the rainbow
So pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces
Of people going by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, “How do you do?”
They’re really saying
“I love you”
Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world
-Louis Armstrong
Written by Sneha Saigal
Born and bred in Mumbai, Sneha earned her MBA and became a wine sommelier in Barcelona. A marketing professional with a knack for creative writing, she is passionate about serving communities; from her college days of participating in prison programs to her gigs at various non-profits. She has a penchant for scarves, dark chocolate and great workouts! Sneha married her high school sweetheart and moved to the Big Apple in 2017.
Week 3, January 2021
